| Sample 30: | Persuasive Claim |
| Return address for personal letter. | 1501 Hennepin Avenue Minneapolis, MN 55403
September 23, 20xx |
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| Scandi Motors 20 Exeter Street Forest Hills, NY 11375-2020 |
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| Ladies and Gentlemen: | ||
| Pace by stating the problem from the reader's point of view. | What better advertising could Scandi have than satisfied customers? Just as satisfied customers say nice things about Scandi cars, those who aren't satisfied like to talk about their problems. | |
| Lead by introducing the problem. Remember that your reader is not personally responsible for your trouble. | That's why I'm writing to you. Right now I'm very unhappy with my Scandi because of the unusual difficulties I've been having with it. Since I purchased the car in August 20xx, I've had practically the entire car replaced or rebuilt. In the first 12 months, the car has required a new water pump, new fuel pump, two new fuel injectors, new disc brakes, and a new battery. Also, the transmission had to be rebuilt. The warranty covered everything except my cab fare, inconvenience, and loss of time. | |
| Blend outcomes by providing the specific dates, figures, and other facts the reader needs to make a fair decision. | Under usual circumstances, Scandi's 12 month/24,000 warranty would have been sufficient for defective parts to turn up and be replaced. In the case of my dropped valve, however, a part that obviously had been defective for some time didn't reveal itself for 12 months and 19 days. Had my car not been in the shop so often the first year, I would have driven it more than the 12,000 miles it now has, and the defective valve would have been obvious sooner. The enclosed repair records show exactly what work I had done on the car and how long each of the repairs took. | |
| Motivate by asking for the action you desire and restating the reader benefit. | Because of the unusual difficulties I've had with my Scandi, I believe that Scandi Motors should extend my warranty to cover the dropped valve. Your check to me for $1495.49 will restore my faith in Scandi's reputation for fine cars and fair dealing. | |
| Sincerely, | ||
| Ingmar Bergmann
enc |
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