Sample 43:   Complex Message Using Chronological Order
  Thompson Steel  
Production Department
1900 Banning Road
Bethlehem, PA 18015
215/555-6164, Ext. 2024 
Use the subject line and the first paragraph to pace the reader's expectation by stating a problem that will be of interest to him or her. Be careful to avoid statements that might offend, such as blaming without proof.  
Date: 9 December 20xx
 
To: Ms. Nancy Barber, Office of the President
 
From: Christopher Reardon, Assistant Manager
Production Department
 
Subject: Inventory Discrepancies
     
    In the past two weeks, I've discovered several discrepancies in Production's inventory that deserve further investigation.
     
Lead by focusing on the facts. Present opinions and conclusions after the details have made the situation clear. Use passive voice to avoid direct accusations.   On 1 December, after a press failure on Line 2, I pulled the requisitions file to order a new press and dies. According to the records, a new press and dies had been ordered in August and installed in September. The attached copy of the shipping voucher indicates that the press and dies were signed for on 12 September and that they cost $127,572.09.

After this discovery, I decided to compare other vouchers with other equipment. So far, I have found the following additional discrepancies:
     
   
Item Voucher Date Amount
Plates 12-074 16 Oct XX $6540.59
Press 12-962 30 Oct XX $116,890.16
Computer 13-003 9 Nov XX $3,192.76
     
Present opinion as opinion and not as fact.   In all cases, the records show that new equipment has been bought and paid for. All the heavy equipment was requisitioned through Houghton Industrial Supplies. The computer was purchased through a mail-order firm, MicroMicro. None of the equipment seems to be in the Department, either online or in storage.

I believe that this is a serious problem, and I would appreciate your assistance in investigating it.
     
Motivate by recommending a solution and requesting action.   I recommend that the Comptroller audit the Production Department within the next two weeks to determine whether there is a good explanation for the discrepancies in the inventory of our equipment.
     
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