Well, this is your mission, like it or not. But what's not to like. If you ever sit in your cubicle and wonder how your work fits into the OIT grand design, just remember our mission statement:
"The Mission of Applications is to, in partnership with other WMU organizational units, provide high-quality, timely, and reliable information systems and services which support the strategic and operational goals of Western Michigan University."

".. boldly go where no one has gone before!"

Sure, you ask, now that I know the Applications mission and goals, how does that fit with the university's plan? Okay, remember, you asked.

"Western Michigan University is a student-centered research university, building intellectual inquiry, investigation, and discovery into all undergraduate, graduate, and professional programs. The University provides leadership in teaching, research, learning, and public service. Nationally recognized and internationally engaged, the University:
* Forges a responsive and ethical academic community
* Develops foundations for achievement in pluralistic societies
* Incorporates participation from diverse individuals in decision-making
* Contributes to technological and economic development
* Engenders an awareness and appreciation of the arts"

Yep, and that is just the mission statement. Here are WMU's goals:
"Western Michigan University's mission is characterized by its pursuit of the following institutional goals:
* To foster a safe, civil, and healthy University community
* To provide access to academic programs at reasonable cost and in multiple settings
* To strengthen interdisciplinary collaboration and international programs
* To increase diversity within the student body, faculty, and staff through institutional practices and programs
* To recognize excellence in the teaching, research, learning, creative work, scholarship, and service contributions of students, faculty, and staff
* To conduct ongoing assessment activities and engage in continuous improvement initiatives within the University
* To establish lifelong relationships between alumni and the University
* To advance responsible environmental stewardship
* To support community and regional partnerships that elevate civic, cultural, social, and economic life"

Whew! You're contributing to all these goals, right? Oh, and Bob, that first goal - it is "to foster" not "have a Fosters."

Oops. Did I dial that number wrong? You just forgot about the new area code that will be introduced July 13. The new code, 269, will affect a large portion of southwest Michigan, including Kalamazoo, surrounding areas, and all of WMU's main campus. Mandatory use of the new area code is slated for February 15, 2003.

One ringey-dingey
Fortunately, Ameritech had customers like me in mind when they set up the "optional dialing period." Callers of the new area code will have seven months to get the hang of dialing 269 instead of 616. During this period, customers will have the choice of using the 269 area code, or may continue dialing 616. Emergency dialing of 9-1-1 remains the same. Don't forget changes to your stationary, business cards, virtual card, checks, and any documents that use a phone number. Also, modify equipment that stores or analyzes telephone numbers with the new area code, including fax machines, computers and answering machines. Contact Telecommunications (616) 387-5161- Option 2. Or should that be 269?

Summer Tunes
Carrie A. Toon

Climbing the charts
The ISIS band continues to belt out the hits. You thought sending one child through college was heck, Darrell is helping put over 4,200 kids through WMU. How much does that guy get paid? Not enough, but he smiles as he provides program and report support for Orientation. Need placement test results for all those teenagers? No problem, Darrell's on the job, singing his heart out. Which reminds me - Darrell, your neighbors asked: please stop singing!

Steep incline or Up-grade
Training continues apace for the PS team, as they prep for the big summer upgrade. Sandra's on lead vocals, with a great backup group. Look for their hit to top the charts in July.

To perform a table lookup in Perl, you're better off using hashes instead of arrays. With an array, you need to keep track of the index as you initially build the array, and whenever you access it. With a hash you just build it; then check for the existence of your lookup element and/or retrieve it. The lookup element is your index. Only one or two lines of code are involved and it's at least as readable as the other way.

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(Compliments of fluffycat.com)
        SQL Subselect Example #1
                 Q: What Harrison Ford movies were made in 1984?
                     Select Film_Title
                       From Thespian_Film_Table
                       Where Thespian_Last_Name  = "Ford"
                         and Thespian_First_Name = "Harrison"
                         and Film_Title in
                             (Select Film_Title
                                From Film_Table
                                Where Film_Year equals "1984");

                 A: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
                    Note: The first select gets all Harrison Ford movies.
                    The second select gets all movies made in 1984, and
                    combined the selects get H. Ford movies made in 1984.

        SQL Subselect Example #2:
                 Q: What Harrison Ford movies were not made in 1984?
                     Select Film_Title
                       From Thespian_Film_Table
                       Where Thespian_Last_Name  = "Ford"
                         and Thespian_First_Name = "Harrison"
                         and Film_Title not in
                             (Select Film_Title
                                From Film_Table
                                Where Film_Year equals "1984");

                 A:
                    Air Force One                              American Graffiti
                    Apocalypse Now                          Blade Runner
                    Clear and Present Danger          Empire Strikes Back, The
                    Frantic                                         Frisco Kid, The
                    Fugitive, The                               Hanover Street
                    Heroes                                         Mosquito Coast, The
                    Patriot Games;                             Presumed Innocent
                    Raiders of the Lost Ark                Regarding Henry
                    Return of the Jedi                        Six Days, Seven Nights
                    Star Wars                                     Working Girl
                    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

      RE-Boot Tip that works for both MACs and PC's:
              1) Turn off MAC or PC.
              2) Verify boot is steel-toed. Redwing makes best of these.
              3) Put MAC or PC in location where nothing else is sure to get damaged.
              4) Boot the sucker as many times as you want.

The Red Wings again own the Stanley Cup, so my apologies to the fans. They were the best team, with the largest goalie stick and biggest pile of steroids to keep old geezers skating through the arthritic pain. Good year, good team; Go Wings! But Bob, the Tigers?!?

For those that thought Roy was quiet and reserved, he presented at this year's Voyager Annual User Group meeting. His paper was entitled "Another Way to Attack the BLOB: Server Side Access via PL/SQL and Perl." At last year's meeting, Roy presented: "Cross-platform Batch Reports." Way to go!

Dear Mr. Editor,

I must object to the recent Happenings article where you blatantly lied about me, by telling everyone I had a criminal record. The May 7, 1937 photo in that article was not me (article below). If it were I would be 102 years old. I must admit it resembles me very well, but I must reiterate that it wasn’t me, you didn’t see me do it, and you can’t prove anything.

You’ve obviously got the wrong person. I will accept an apology, and will settle out of court for $1.00. I will not stand for any unnecessary slander.

Sincerely, Bob