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I was fifteen years old and a freshman in high
school; the year was 1991. My life was a mess
at this time; my parents were bitterly divorced
and both remarried. I hadn’t seen my abusive
and alcoholic father in almost three years and
my mother cared more about drugs and herself
than she did about caring for or feeding her
children. I was a ball of pent up rage and I
exploded violently on anyone I came across;
unfortunately ripping on others was considered
“cool” in high school, so I fit right in.
I had two close friends at this time in my life,
Chris and Aimee. Aimee was a very devote
Christian and spoke to me frequently about godly
things, but I didn’t understand most of what she
said. Chris was a closet Christian; he quietly
disappeared every Wednesday night and was always
unavailable on Sundays; I had no clue his family
was so religious until I stepped over the line.
Chris and I frequently passed notes back and
forth during school. These notes were full of
your typical teenage gossip, but with a twist of
cruel humor and severe vulgarity; unbeknownst to
me, he had a habit of keeping these notes and
hiding them in his room at home. His little
sister was three at the time and had a habit of
going through his room. One Thursday she
dragged out some of my notes to Chris and his
mother found them. She was quite upset when she
read one of them. Chris’ parents told him that
either I come to church next Sunday or he
couldn’t hang out with me anymore. He was also
grounded for a week. Chris came to school the
next day, Friday, and told me what had
happened. This news put me in a particularly
foul mood and I vented on everyone I came
across, including Aimee.
On the bus ride home, I tortured Aimee more than
usual. She was my friend, but that didn’t stop
me from calling her “church lady” (an old SNL
sketch character) and ripping on her. This
particular day I shredded her religiousness more
than usual and I took her shoe and tossed it
around the bus; one kid tried to throw it out
the window, but I caught him before he managed
to complete the act. When we got off at our
stop, Aimee asked to speak with me. She told me
that she wasn’t ashamed of being a Christian and
that every time I mocked her I was mocking God.
I always knew Aimee had something I didn’t, but
I didn’t understand what it was yet. That
weekend was spent at home sulking and analyzing
everything that had happened; this was a stark
contrast to my usual weekend habits. I went to
bed Saturday night and prayed, “God, if you’re
real and you want me to go to church then wake
me up in the morning ‘cause I’m not setting an
alarm.” God has a funny sense of humor.
I woke up at sunrise the next morning. The
house was silent and the neighborhood was
peaceful; God had woken me up. I have always
been a woman of my word, so I occupied myself
until it was time to get ready for church. I
put on my best pair of jeans and least tore up
t-shirt and walked the ¼ mile to the church. I
snuck in and sat in the very back pew. It
didn’t take long for this HUGE 300 lbs man to
come over and introduce himself as Chris’ dad;
he told me he was glad I was there, he promised
to never bring up the note again or ever use it
against me, and he invited me over after church
for dinner. I was floored. I sat through that
service and didn’t understand a single thing the
pastor was talking about, but I tried to grasp
as much as I could.
Having dinner with the Cantwell’s, and watching
Sunday football, became a tradition. Chris’
mom, Glenda, did her best to answer all of my
questions in the next few months and she was one
of the greatest mentors I ever had. My church
family was very welcoming and friendly; most of
them knew my name by the second Sunday I
attended. I also began to attend Sunday school
regularly. I learned a lot about God and myself
during this time. I also began to understand
what salvation was and God was working on my
heart in huge ways.
February 3, 1992 I attended a service that
rivals all others. We had guest evangelists who
spoke on Heaven and Hell. He also spoke of
salvation and our need for Jesus in our lives;
then he gave an alter call. I prayed, “Lord, if
this whole salvation thing is real and what you
want me to do, make that guy over the (a
complete stranger) go up to the alter.” No
sooner had I uttered the words, the man went to
up and prayed at the alter. I started crying
and also went to the alter. I had no idea what
to pray, but Glenda suddenly appeared by my side
and led me in prayer. I prayed something
similar to this: “Lord, I know that I am a
sinner and lost without You. Thank you for
sending your son, Jesus, to die for me. Thank
you for loving me that much. I pray, Lord, that
you would cleanse me of my sins and come into my
heart to live.” I physically felt a weight
lifted from my heart and life hasn’t been
ordinary since.
The events in
my life, and the very earth around me, proclaim
that God is real; to deny this fact or to try to
explain these things away would be shear
ignorance. God truly made me into a different
creature: a new creation.
God offers this
cleansing, and an eternity in Heaven, to all who
chose to acknowledge Him. The bible is very
clear on what is necessary for salvation (John
3:16-18 and Romans 3, 6). We are all born
sinners and in order for us to be saved, we must
first admit that we are sinners. Then we
must look to the only one who can grant
salvation: God, through Jesus Christ. While
hoping not to sound like a “Sunday school”
answer, I will share the following passages that
speak of salvation:
John 10 (Jesus is speaking)
8All who ever came before me were
thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not
listen to them. 9I am the gate;
whoever enters through me will be saved.
He will come in and go out, and find
pasture. 10The thief comes only to
steal and kill and destroy; I have come that
they may have life, and have it to the full.
Romans 10
8But what does it say? "The word is
near you; it is in your mouth and in your
heart,"[1]
that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming:
9That if you confess with your mouth,
"Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that
God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
10For it is with your heart that you
believe and are justified, and it is with your
mouth that you confess and are saved. |
